Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

1st Date

January 28, 2010

Twenty four years ago today, Gloria and I had our first date.  Here’s my side of the story.

Gloria worked at the deli at NCBC.  I had returned to the college for the spring semester after serving four years in the Marine Corps.  I was home on terminal leave, which means that I had saved leave that I was using at the end of my enlistment.  This allowed me to be at North Central for the start of the spring semester even though technically I was still in the service.  The first couple of days, I wore my dress uniform to attend classes.  I wanted people to know that I was a Marine.

I would stop in at the deli for a coffee between classes.  Gloria was a beautiful young lady with light blue eyes, a wonderful smile, and happy, easy-going way about her.  I would watch her interact with the customers, between sips of my coffee and I was impressed, and attracted.

On the morning of the 28th, which was my official end of active service (EAS), I concocted a plan.  I would mention to Gloria, while I was buying my coffee that it was my last day in the Marine Corps.  I figured that a natural response would be to ask what I was doing to celebrate, and that then I could ask her out to celebrate my EAS.

It went exactly according to plan… except that I lost my nerve.  I told her that it was my last day, she asked me what I was doing to celebrate, I said that I wasn’t doing anything.

I drank my coffee and left.

I went upstairs where I gave myself, first a chewing out, and then a pep talk,  “What if she’s the one?”  “You coward, get down there and ask her out!” and so on…

I finally worked up the nerve and calmly went downstairs.  She was surprised to see me again, (I usually only bought coffee once a morning).  I said something like “I was thinking about it, and you’re right, I should do something to celebrate.  Since I really don’t know many people here yet, since I am newly back to school, perhaps you would go out with me?”

She was so surprised that I would ask her out, that she replied yes without thinking too much about it.  After all, it was her idea.  Her friends later reminded her that she had agreed to a date with a man she barely new, except that he was a student, and a sergeant in the Marines.  The student part, sure, but the Marine?  It gave her something to think about through the afternoon.

The date went well, and the rest is history.  We often laugh about our relationship starting with manipulation, but it’s worked out well.

Sexual Sins

November 5, 2009

Rape, and any sexual abuse is both a sin, and a crime.

Homosexual acts are a sin. 

Adultery is a sin.

So is pre-marital sexual intercourse.

So is pornography.

“Flee sexual immorality.  Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body,  Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, who you have from God, and you are not your own?  For you were bought at a price, therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”          (I Corinthians 6:18-20 NKJ)

It is wrong to focus on a particular sexual sin, such as homosexuality, and ignore other sexual sins such as pornography, or pre-marital sex.  As Christians we should be seeking to maintain purity in our own lives and encouraging it in the lives of other believers.

Please note the “as Christians”.  For people who do not believe in Jesus as the Christ, or the Bible as the Word of God,  their view towards sex will be established by societies’ norms.  Our message to them should begin with hope, love and forgiveness; not pointing out what we perceive as sinful behaviour, but offering the grace of God in Jesus.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  (I John 1:9)

This cleansing is an ongoing process.  We should seek to grow in godliness.  This certainly includes the attitude that we have towards sex.  As Christians we should follow Biblical teachings, not the norms of an ever-changing society.

Just Back

November 3, 2009

We just got back from a week of vacation visiting our family in Minnesota.  It was a wonderful time together.  During the week we helped our son get settled in at his new home in central Minnesota.  It is an exciting time of life for him, as he starts fresh in a new community; new job, new church, meeting new people, and making new friends.

He does not have internet, and so I did not post anything while we were gone.  I started to write this morning a blog on the community of believers, but it was much too complicated for my brain to deal with on the first day back.   There is a lot to do, and only limited time so that post will have to wait for another day. 

Choices, you know are very important.  So today, I will keep it simple.  After all, I am just getting back.

Valentine’s Day

February 16, 2009

Well another Valentine’s Day has come and gone.  I wonder how many people enjoyed the day?  I sometimes wonder if we don’t create problems for ourselves by thinking that life should resemble a romance novel, or a romantic comedy.  I sometimes think that people evaluate their experiences by comparing them to what they watch on television or read in a book. 

Romance books are not real life.

Life is not a movie.

In order for a marriage to succeed we need to be committed.  We need to take seriously our wedding vows; “For better, for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live.”

Some people seem to think that when the marriage, or relationship no longer resembles the ideal presented in fictional media, that it is time to bail.  Rather, that is when our integrity is tested.  Will we remain committed to each other?  Will we work through our problems?  Will we recognize that life is real, and people are not perfect?

I believe that a key component to a happy marriage is committment.  You need to work at improving your relationship.  You need to be committed to each other no matter what comes.  

If you want to enjoy the beauty and fragrance of the roses, you need to watch out for the thorns.