Well another Valentine’s Day has come and gone. I wonder how many people enjoyed the day? I sometimes wonder if we don’t create problems for ourselves by thinking that life should resemble a romance novel, or a romantic comedy. I sometimes think that people evaluate their experiences by comparing them to what they watch on television or read in a book.
Romance books are not real life.
Life is not a movie.
In order for a marriage to succeed we need to be committed. We need to take seriously our wedding vows; “For better, for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live.”
Some people seem to think that when the marriage, or relationship no longer resembles the ideal presented in fictional media, that it is time to bail. Rather, that is when our integrity is tested. Will we remain committed to each other? Will we work through our problems? Will we recognize that life is real, and people are not perfect?
I believe that a key component to a happy marriage is committment. You need to work at improving your relationship. You need to be committed to each other no matter what comes.
If you want to enjoy the beauty and fragrance of the roses, you need to watch out for the thorns.
Tags: commitment, marriage, relationships, Valentine's Day
a whisper in the wind 
February 17, 2009 at 7:50 pm |
I am reminded of what I said long long ago – tongue in cheek — ” I don’t need to have wealth or fame, all that matters to me is love. But if there isn’t love than there had better be wealth and fame.” Good thing we have love!!!!
February 17, 2009 at 11:42 pm |
I think it comes down to expectations.
If we expect life to be like a movie, if we expect things to just work out without any effort on our own part, if we expect to always be happy and to never be upset or sad, if we always expect to “win” an argument, if we always expect that we’ll never need to know the nature of sacrifice….if we expect all these things, we set ourselves up for disappointment.
Relationships are about expectations, yours and your partner’s. I’m not saying that we should lower our standards (we need to know when our mates are doing something that is completely unacceptable and how to tell them this) but we also need to know when we ourselves have unreasonable expectations.
As has been mentioned before….balance is important in many things. Having balanced expectations is a natural extension of this precept.
February 18, 2009 at 6:45 am |
Gloria, What? We aren’t rich and famous???
Dave, I certainly agree that expectations are important and many couples go into marriage with unrealistic expectations.
Balance is such a wonderful ideal, and so difficult to achieve.
February 18, 2009 at 8:15 pm |
This is something I learned not that long ago.
Degree of unmet expectations=degree of pain/hurt/anger
February 19, 2009 at 6:16 am |
Suzanne,
I like the formula.
Premarital counciling can help to adjust unrealistic expectations.
Marital counciling can help with the pain, hurt and anger.
February 20, 2009 at 11:18 am |
ah good point Dave, balanced expectations. Curt that would be a good blog (hint hint)
I also like Suzanne’s formula. Need to give that one some more thought.
February 21, 2009 at 4:16 pm |
Gloria, I will keep that in mind.